Comptine D'Un Autre Été

I am writing from my kitchen table in Bowling Green, Kentucky. A soft breeze enters the room and I can hear birds warbling. These bird sounds are driving my cats crazy. They are pacing by the porch door, desperate to go outside. 

This trip has been enjoyable but I'm also inclined to hate April and May. I feel pasty, sluggish, and completely thrown off-kilter. 

David, Dan, and I traveled down to Bowling Green to escape graduation week. My dad grilled California burgers our first night here. He is in heaven. He loves sitting outside and talking with Dan and David. On Wednesday, they ate paella and did shot after shot of tequila and rum. I had two glasses of wine and called it a night.

I've got a lot of work to do, more than I had anticipated. The past few days have been dedicated to work for my GSRA-ship. Now I have to work on this paper that I'm co-authoring. All I want to do is work on my own stuff. I've been told that I have to finish my prospectus by May 20th. Approved and everything.

Crap.

States That Are Essentially By-Products

Bisous Cat stays! Hurrah!

Am working in my office but am feeling uninspi(red). 

It appears there will be drinks tonight at La Habana. Here is to hoping that the id obeys the superego. I doubt it. In fact, I HIGHLY doubt it. 

Best thing I've read today (and so utterly true): 

States That Are Essentially By-Products

...I can get A by doing A, but only if I do A in order to get Y... 

(An example) Musical glory or social success falls in the category of state that are essentially by-products - states that cannot be realized by actions motivated only by the desire to realize them. These are states that may come about, but not be brought about intentionally by a simple decision... Attempts to realize these desires are likely to be ineffectual and can even make matters worse. 

--Jon Elster

Mark Leibovich wrote an absolutely riveting article on Chris Matthews. It appears the more we aim for respect, the more we fall dismally short. This reminds me of the time in high school when I was obsessed with being a bad-ass. Nathan had unceremoniously excluded me from his top ten bad-asses at Castle High School. According to Nathan, my efforts to join this storied list made me even less of a bad-ass. Just as Chris Matthews will forever be on the Washington B-List, thanks to his insatiable desire to be on the A-List. Frustrating, I know.

What's Wrong With You?

Ugh, I feel horrible. Bisous Cat and Dan got in a dispute last night and we might have to get rid of her. She is sulking on the windowsill behind the couch. She is making strange noises and I think she may be ill. I am thinking of taking her to the vet. Does anyone who knows anything about cats know if these are signs of sickness? Why do the two best things in my life not get along? In other news, I am done with Midwest and feeling more and more human every day.

All I Need

What a deliciously weird and wonderful day! Part of its charm is its inauspicious start; I could have sworn that today was going to be awful. I got up at 6 to go to the gym, which was a real struggle considering it was raining and cold. At the gym, I had slim pickings with regard to television. See, I go to this gym just for the TV monitor in the treadmill. Yes, I can watch any show I please as I run. The problem is that there really isn't anything on at 6 am, unless your tastes gravitate toward Saved By The Bell or Vh1 playing Sarah Boreallis's (sp?) song on loop (God I hate that song). Anyway, I decided to watch The Today Show. By the time my run was over, I was thoroughly depressed. The topics? Rising airline costs, floods in the midwest, the anniversary of Iraq, the biological predisposition in humans to cheat on their significant others, and the high probability of having Alzheimer's. Now I know why I read so much celebrity gossip. When I'm done I feel smug or satisfied. 

Anyway, this sort of television viewing actually sparked a super interesting conversation with Dan. And then we flipped through my J.Crew catalog, where I found the perfect bridesmaid dress. In my excitement, I showed them to A., who kindly pointed out that the $385 price tag may be a little high. But not to fear dear readers, we found a suitable alternative!

This is actually a four season suit from J.Crew. Now picture this on my bridesmaids and this on my maid of honor: 

Wouldn't this look great? Plus, these dresses are so practical; my special ladies can wear them long after the ceremony.  Your thoughts?

I showed these to Dan and he loved them. We really got into the wedding planning mood, which had never really struck us. Somehow googling information about Guanajuato was just what we needed. 

Beautiful. 

In other good news, I may have a research opportunity. This professor told me that two of my advisors had said "great things about me." Plus, someone I really admire wants me to read his paper! I am so flattered. 

Good news all around. Now if I could just pretend the world around me isn't crumbling...

Good Morning

So it's Thursday morning and I am sitting all by myself in the East Lounge in Rackham Graduate School. I am trying to revise the ethnicity list for the new version of the Comparative Prelim, but I am finding it difficult, nay, impossible to concentrate. A friend of mine in college (I suppose we were friends... definitely on friendly terms, hung out a couple of times) died. He was badly burned in a fire in Seoul and his family was raising money for his medical bills. I contributed and was looking periodically at the facebook page reporting his status. Last night, while working in the Ford School, I checked it and to my utter surprise, he passed away. I never entertained the notion that he wasn't going to make it. His sister uploaded a journal entry he had written. It was much more profound than anything I've jotted down in my moleskin notebook (or on this blog, which goes without saying). He was utterly alive and aware that he was living. I am often torn between the concepts of living for the day and living for the future. Too much emphasis on the here-and-now can, on the individual level, lead to disaster for the future, and on the aggregate level, a hedonistic culture. Yet continually planning for that day that will never come robs life of all of its spontaneity, and, inevitably, some of its beauty. In his journal entries, it seems that he had a perspective on the world that I sorely lack. He knew he was part of a bigger thing. He saw the failings of society, but he didn't linger in his pessimism or freeze in the futility of individual action, something I do. I am saddened that the world lost such a reflective and intelligent individual. 

It's All Right

I'm back in Ann Arbor and Reality has just sucker punched me. I have SO much to do. The good news is that I'm on track with my raw food diet. I actually feel really good, especially after a week of gluttony. In other news, the girls were really happy to see me! Both of them have been jumping onto my lap and rubbing up against my legs. In some ways, it's good to be back.

100% Committed

I'm going to announce it here...I am going to eat only raw foods for the month of March.*  Dan is taking the under. I will update this blog with my progress.

*I am not counting my birthday or Easter.