An Honest Woman

Dan proposed to me last night and I accepted! I am now officially engaged. This also means that I don't have to worry about turning into Dorothy Zbornak (now, granted, I know that she married Stan, but they divorced...and for you Golden Girls fanatics...yes, I know she got married in the season finale, but you know what I mean). How did it happen? Dan already told me that he had gotten his mother's engagement ring ready for me and that a proposal was due within the next 90 days. Last Friday, he called me from Phoenix telling me that he had made lunch reservations in Nashville on New Year's Eve. Of course, I inferred that he was going to propose then. So yesterday I drive to the Nashville airport (traffic was HORRIBLE) and pick up my DK. He had brought tamales from Arizona with him and he had planned a whole meal around them. So my mom, my dad, Dan and I worked on the meal in the kitchen. Mel and Ryland played Scrabble upstairs, but were going to join us for dinner. We decided to eat in our dining room; mom put out her nicest china and set the table so beautifully. It never crossed my mind that this was odd. After dinner, Dan, Mom and Dad were getting dessert ready while I joked around with Ryland and Mel. I wanted to see if Dad had brewed any coffee when my mom whisked me away to the front entrance to dance (if you know me, this is not as odd as it sounds...I always break into spontaneous dance...and song). We then sat down, except for Mom, and Dan, who was walking into the dining room with a paper bag in his hand. Mom brought out champagne flutes and set one by each of our plates. Dan took a bottle of champagne out of his bag and said, "We have some champagne, but before we open it, there should be a reason for us to celebrate." And then it hit me. He got on one knee and said, "I wanted to ask you this in front of the people you love the most. Will you marry me?" Now, granted the entire time I was BAWLING. Good thing this wasn't in a public establishment or else I would have felt embarrassed afterwards. Of course I said yes and Dan put the most beautiful ring on my finger. It was his mother's engagement ring. I would describe it to you but I really don't know how. I'll post a picture later. So now I'm just staring at my finger while I type and I'm feeling very, very happy.

Let Bygones Be Bygones

I am so screwed. The past week I've been blissfully unaware of how close the Southern Political Science Association annual meeting is and how terribly left-field my proposal is. On a whim I decided to read the bloody thing again and I realized that I framed the entire thing as an American puzzle. It is a good thing that I took the time to read it before embarking on my outline/data analysis. Essentially what this means is that all I've been working on gives me little leverage on writing this paper that is due on JANUARY 5!!! I'm also in Bowling Green, meaning using Stat transfer etc. is effectively out of the question. Breathe, Jen, breathe. Oh, good. David wrote me back. He said to expand the analysis into a comparative study. Yay, I say. Yay. By the way, I think I should be known as the Cat Whisperer. Nora, my sister's cat, and Raffi, the pride of my parents, love me. I get them. They get me. We just get it. All right, back to work for me. I really need a drink.

"Your dad wants grandchildren. No, really."

By the way, I heard that exact phrase at least five times from at least two different family members. All right, quick update because I have a deadline looming. First things first, Dan and I have escaped the snow storm by driving south. First we visited my Grandma. We took her out to dinner at Bob Evans (her choice). This was followed by dessert at my Aunt Brenda and Uncle Bruce's. I have not seen these relatives in at least, AT LEAST, five years. It was wonderful to be reunited, but a little overwhelming as well. Why you ask? Consider the first thing that my uncle said to me and Dan, "You two should make beautiful children." This was followed by an assesment that Dan will most likely make boys. He also chided us for getting a hotel room. As he put it, we can stay with them, and, after all, his grandson was conceived in the room above. At this point Dan actually said that this was too much information. I was inclined to agree. In other news, we then went and visited my cousin Tera, her husband, and their three children. It was a lovely time. My whole extended family loves Dan. How could they not? We then drove to Parkersburg, WV, where Dan and I stayed in our favorite hotel, the Blennerhassett. This hotel is quite the gem. It is a historic hotel and features a cozy library, spacious rooms, and a four-star retaurant, complete with a pianist. Dan surprised me by getting us the William Morris suite, which I confused with Philip Morris. Oops. The shower boasted more than five showerheads so that water was coming at you from all directions. I'm not going to lie, I was made for these kinds of hotels. While I was there I kept on thinking of my bedbug infested room in London and thinking how lucky I am. One does not fully appreciate what one has until she is almost eaten alive by bed bugs. And now I'm in Bowling Green, where I'm researching members of parliament. I will update more later. Until then, enjoy this picture of the William Morris suite. Shoot, it won't load. Just paint a picture in your head.

Movies to Watch

I am so excited for Atonement. There is nothing I like better than romance and war. The film looks absolutely beautiful and I've already fallen - hard - for the score. I feel incredibly guilty for saying this, but I love Keira Knightley. I just think she is lovely. I wish I was as waifish as she. Unfortunately, my love of food, my lack of discipline and my glacially slow metabolism will simply not allow it. I can actually feel my arm fat jiggling as I type, no joke. Shameful. I think my steady diet of celebrity gossip has made me ultra-aware of my weight. I am constantly confronted with pictures of who's up and who's down, and I think to myself, "How the hell did she get down?" I can't seem to lose a pound! Of course, I imbibe way too much alcohol and live off of cookies. I wasn't going to do this on this blog. You know, talk about weight. But it is something I cannot stop thinking about. It is difficult because Dan sees me struggle and sees me cry about it, and he tries to help me the best he can, but his help isn't what I want to hear. He asks me what I had for dinner and encourages me to eat less. I want him to tell me that I don't need to lose weight, not stop eating all of those cookies. I want Dan to tell me that I look lovely, not that my stomach looks bigger. I walk this tightrope of not wanting to starve myself again, of wanting to be normal, and longing for my old, taut self. I was once the girl who couldn't fit into adult clothes. A size zero would fall off of me. I was the girl who weighed less than 90 pounds. And then I think about the collateral damage...and I reach for my Oreos and get fatter. I want to disentangle goodness, discipline and integrity from a number on a scale. But I don't want to be fat. And that leads to this vicious cycle. As I said before, I didn't want to bring this up again. Not writing about it was stupid as it is all I think about. I don't know how I'm going to handle tomorrow night. Allison and I are hosting a holiday party. I know what I normally do: I eat too much, I drink too much, and then I feel like an utter piece of crap the next day. I always tell myself before I go out that I will feel horrible if I pig out. And yet my resolve crumbles the minute I enter the party. If only I could tap into that discipline I had long ago. I will seriously try. I will write on Sunday to let you all know how I did.

The Economist or Vogue?

Oh Jezebel, how I love thee. Here, in a nutshell, is why I almost always choose Vogue (in all seriousness, I am contemplating giving up meat):

Will The "End Of Cheap Food" Make Us Thin Again?

Dollarmenunaires take note, it's the END OF CHEAP FOOD, says the latest Economist! (Summary: corn prices are way up bc there's way more demand for corn from two constituents -- cars and cows. The cars are being driven by Americans, who decided to subsidize the use of corn-based "pollution solution" biofuels, and the cows are being eaten by the Chinese, who have more money now that Communism is over.) Okay, so here's where my interest comes in: does this mean Americans are finally going to get thinner; as a result of getting "greener"! I read the whole freaking story to find out...

And ugh, you know what? When filling up an SUV with pollution-free fuel wastes enough corn to feed a poor person for a year, it looks like a kinda silly policy:

The expansion of ethanol and other biofuels could reduce calorie intake by another 4-8% in Africa and 2-5% in Asia by 2020. For some countries, such as Afghanistan and Nigeria, which are only just above subsistence levels, such a fall in living standards could be catastrophic.

Anyway, the whole story is really depressing, with tales of tortilla riots in Mexico and price controls being used to mind-control in Venezuela, which is why I stopped reading and picked up Vogue. And there was a pic of Agyness Deyn. Bicycles are so hot right now! Much better solution.

Nach Deutschland

I am attempting to write a letter of recommendation while staring longingly at Vanessa Bruno's collection on net-a-porter.com. I love this line so much. If I had the semblance of a decent income, I would buy myself at least, AT LEAST, three pieces. Unfortunately, I would look ridiculously out of place wearing these beautiful pieces. Michigan is utterly uninspiring when it comes to fashion, especially while we suffer through the winter. If I see another unfortunate soul traipsing around with sweats tucked into Uggs, topped oh-so-creatively with a North Face fleece, I will puke. Oh sigh. Luckily, it looks like next year I will be in Europe and that means I will enjoy a sweatpants free year.

Hump Day

Today is just one of those days I wish I could fast forward. I have so much to do that is simply mind-numbing or unpleasant. Plus, it is cold and snowy outside, which is unfortunate given that my boots are not holding up well. So this morning is filled with GSRA work, whcih is followed by Isabel's visit to the vet that determines whether she has to have another surgery. Afterward, I have my French meet-up group. For some reason, I have no desire to go. At least Project Runway is on tonight, otherwise I would have nothing to keep me going.

Sore

I ran 12 miles today. I am exhausted.

It's A Wonderful World

I am back at Sweetwater's in downtown Ann Arbor and it feels fantastic! I am transported to the end of fall semester first year. On a crazy whim, I decided to leave the main campus area and work in this little place I always saw but never entered. I quickly made it my own, working here every day. This place was a welcome reprieve from college life. Professionals come here. Graduate students of all stripes come here. The interior is tasteful. It doesn't smell. Now that I live in the burbs I never make it here. Yet today, after a morning of working out and Christmas shopping, I desired to continue feeling like a grown-up. And so I'm here. Isabel and Dan are on great terms. She is always sitting on his lap and she looks so content. I am so happy to see that they are friends. Last night was great. A group of us went to Cafe Habana for happy hour. I love this new place. The place replicates a swank club in Havana circa 1930. We ended up staying there and having a lovely time. Overall, I'm just happy. That is why I decided to post. Now this post feels pointless. All apologies. Now back to work!