Don't Go Wasting Your Emotions

Sigh. I have a severe case of verbal diarrhea. Last night was girls' night out and I, per usual, shared too much. I really have to work on that. The good news was that I had a great time and I didn't drink too much! Yay for small victories.

In other news, I miss Dan desperately. It's amazing how much our lives have melded into one. When he isn't around, I feel like I'm simply biding my time until he returns. I know that sounds pathetic, but I feel like I'm just at half-strength without him. Where is he, you ask? Well, our dear male Cher Horowitz finagled a trip to Portugal for a conference. Thus, he is in Lisbon.  The week before he was in Boston for an interview. 

I don't know how I will handle being in the Netherlands sans my DK. The nice thing about being the one leaving, rather than staying, is that the newness of the situation acts as a salve to the loneliness. I will also be busy working on this bloody dissertation. Speaking of which, it is time for me to get back to work.

I Knew Who I Wanted To Be

So this is weird. I'm reading my old blog, which I maintained for roughly two years. How much my life has changed! I'm living with my fiance (in sin, as my dad likes to make clear), I am in month two of my fifth year (gulp!), and I am nowhere closer to being comfortable in my skin. I believed when I was younger that once I reached my mid-twenties, I would suddenly be emancipated from my self-doubts. Au contraire, mes amis, au contraire. 

But really, life is good, in a perverse way. We're in the middle of a financial meltdown and I'm okay. My family is okay. Dan is okay; nay, he is BETTER than okay. My cats, while destroying our furniture and ripping up our carpet, are okay. I'm sad that my prospectus has been such a struggle and that I've lost my drive. But it could be worse. That said, it can always be worse. 

Thursday night was the vice-presidential debate. Cassie, Nate, and their roommate hosted a debate watch party. It was spectacular! Cassie outdid herself, making baked Alaska and providing enough beverages to make Palin's scripted answers funny and not painful. Dan was gone, and I felt so very alone. I am now one of those people to whom I could never relate. I am part of a couple who feels like she is drowning when she is alone. I only talked about my cats and my DK, which is obnoxious, to say the least. The good part is that some awesome people were there, and I was ale to reconnect with someone who was a very good friend first and second year. 

Now I'm in my house, filching Internet from a kind stranger. I'm supposed to be working, but I am rendered immobile from my adviser's comments and my own frustration. Somehow, navel gazing is much more attractive to me than reading another book. 

Will anyone have a Halloween party this year? I sincerely hope so. 

And now back to psuedo-work. 

Puis je fume

The first day of school. How I used to anticipate it so! The end of summer meant running with my sister to Hunter's Glen elementary school to find out which class I had been placed. I would dash into the cafeteria, scroll the lists of names for my grade and leave, either giddy or dejected. I remember when my entire clique was in the other 4th grade class. Oh the agony!

Of course, the night before the first day was even better. I would meticulously plan my outfit (this was prior to my interest in fashion, meaning that the outfit was inevitably plain, bordering on hideous), laying it out by my bed. Next, I would prepare my backpack, cramming it full of bright new folders, Crayola markers, and the prerequisite box of Kleenex. While getting ready for middle school and high school were different, I was still filled with excitement and expectation.

Yesterday was, in its own way, my first day of school. Since beginning graduate school, I have not felt the same kind of nervousness or eagerness that used to engulf me when I was younger; nevertheless, this year feels different to me. Maybe it's because the summer seemed to drag on forever. Or perhaps it's because there is so much I want to do this year and I needed a fresh start. In the end, I think we all look forward to a new start. Like the New Years, the first day of school presents a clearly delineated time when we can change our fortunes, change our behaviors. That is what I want to do this year.

Now that I got that out of my system, I do want to share what I've been doing the past weekend. Dan and I jetted off to Mexico City to find a venue for the wedding. My mother met us down in the city and we stayed with my godmother Mari. The trip was brilliant! Everyone loved Dan and Dan loved them and the country (the first question he asked my dad upon our return was how could he leave)!

With regards to finding a wedding locale, the true problem was deciding between multiple places that were all very nice. Finally, we chose La Hacienda de Cortez in Cuernavaca (http://www.hotelhaciendadecortes.com/). we've also moved up the day of our wedding to May 23rd. More details will follow.

Dan is the first person outside of my family to go with me to Mexico. It was one of those strange occurrences when two of my completely distinct worlds collide. I was born in Mexico and I lived in the city until I was four. Throughout my childhood and adolescence, I would travel frequently to Mexico with my family; we would stay there for weeks at a time. Since going to college, however, these trips have trickled to nothing. In fact, this past visit was my first time back sine 2001. Being back felt so strange. It doesn't feel as foreign as it used to, in terms of the presence of American firms, but it doesn't feel as familiar as it once did. That is, I felt completely out of touch with the culture. At lest I am trying to get rid of my Spanish accent. I think having the wedding in Mexico, with my Mexican side of the family attending, is perfect. I will reconnect with a side of me that I haven't paid much mind to, and American family and friends will get to see the real Mexico (there will be no reception at Senor Frogs).

Coffee and Doughnuts

This is heaven. I am sitting at the B.'s kitchen table in Nantucket, enjoying my final bites of a blueberry doughnut, and reading jezebel. We are all sitting around the table, engrossed in our own activities. This trip to Nantucket is the perfect antidote to the stressful past two weeks. In fact, I never thought this time would come. I was desperately trying to finish my APSA paper, as well as move my prospectus forward in order to be ready for the poster session my advisor arranged. The Olympics did not help at all. I was up every night until around 1:00 and I was up by 6:00 so I could run and lift. To say I was perpetually exhausted is an understatement. But alas, by 7:30 pm on Thursday, my paper had been uploaded and the poster session was over.

On Friday Dan and I left for Boston. We met up with Dan's friend H. and then took a ferry to Nantucket, where we stayed with H.'s family. Their rambling house has a lovely cottage in the background, where Dan and I are staying. It is all a little Waugh-esque, minus the British manners. Anyway, we had a lovely day on Friday and yesterday we went to the beach, explored a light-house, and did a little shopping. This was capped off by a delicious birthday dinner at B.'s house.

The house is currently fill as H.'s cousins are here as well. They are so lovely! They also have seven dogs and I am so surprised by how much I love them. Dan and I are seriously considering getting one after we are married. We'll have to consult the girls, of course.

Today is our last day on the island. The rest of the week will be spent in Boston. We'll be returning to Ann Arbor on Saturday, and then we leave for Mexico City on Sunday to begin our wedding planning in earnest. This is making me tired just thinking about it. For right now I will concentrate on enjoying myself.

Do I Disappoint You?

I feel compelled to pose this question that has been haunting me for the past few weeks. Who the hell are the Jonas Brothers and why should I care? Any and all thoughts would be very much appreciated.

Obstacle 1

I've been recently fighting a perpetual time crunch. Suddenly, deadlines transformed from laudable mechanisms to force me to complete my work into real and binding things. Since Wednesday morning, I feel that I'm constantly tense, constantly staring at the computer, and constantly fighting this wave of nausea. The physical manifestation of this stress is the worst. For instance, since beginning to lift weights I've developed these bulging veins in my hands, and they seems to throb every time I think of what I have to do.

I had a presentation on Friday. To call my performance "craptastic" would be unduly generous.

What has made this week interesting is the purported presence of Drew Barrymore. Apparently, she is shooting her directorial debut in Ann Arbor (thanks US Weekly!). I've never met a real celebrity, which I think is unfair given my obsession with them. Oh, and I read Little Girl Lost. Thus, I've been staked out on Main Street, hoping for a sighting. So far the only notable sighting was my old crush and his girlfriend eating dinner at Cafe Felix. It was so bloody awkward, although I'm engaged and the entire episode took place years ago. His back was to me and his girlfriend saw me and whispered to him. He turned around and saw me, but I, oh sly one, was acting like I was texting someone although in reality, I don't text because it is too expensive on my plan. HA! So we all acted as if we didn't see each other. It was on this date when I choose to pair my adorable khaki shorts with a plain gray SWEATSHIRT FROM MEIJER. It always seems that I run into people when I look like a schlub.

Now I'm back on Main Street, working on my paper for APSA. I'm actually enjoying my work. In fact, I love it. It is just the stress that gets to me. As I type this I wonder if perhaps I'll see a famous person. Ellen Page? Marcia Gay Harden? Drew Barrymore? I'm not picky.

Bisous Cat's Q & A, Courtesy D. Smith

I ran the idea of Bisous Cat hosting a Q & A show on public television past David. In response, David provided this absolutely perfect script of how such a show would progress. Please note, Raffi is my parent's ambiguously gay cat. He has a British accent and heaven knows how he ended up in Kentucky. Isabel is my sweet, darling, loving cat, who happens to rub against anyone and everyone. Snickers is Cassie's long-haired cat who may or may not be fatter than Bisous Cat (and Bisous Cat is huge).

Voici David's masterpiece: 

BISOUS CAT: Please welcome our wegular guest, Isabel.

(APPLAUSE)

ISABEL: Meow . . .

BISOUS CAT: Shut up Isabel, no-one's intewested. Go and find a lap you haven't sat on yet. If you can. All the way fwom Kentucky, Waffi!

(APPLAUSE)

RAFFI: Yes, it's, er, charming to be in Michigan. I say, is there a decent bathhouse anywhere around here?

BISOUS CAT: Why don't you just lick yourself like evewyone else?

RAFFI: Er, well, it's not so much the cleaning aspect I'm looking for. . .

BISOUS CAT: And speaking of cats who don't clean themselves, please welcome Snickews!

(APPLAUSE)

SNICKERS: None of you have any fashion sense to wear your fur long.

BISOUS CAT: And none of us have our fuw wecognized as a national park.

RAFFI: Oh, MEOW!

SNICKERS: Or have our ass recognized as a planet. Oh, wait, I believe NASA's trying to contact you now. . .

RAFFI: Oh, this is going to be FUN. Someone bring me a martini. . .

Nous Partons Allez Viens!

I am working at Espresso Royale, looking up British candidates for my dissertation. Ah, the dissertation. My raison d'être. I feel so ridiculously inferior to my peers. I used to think I was making good progress, but in a quest to improve my own webpage, I saw how much my colleagues have accomplished. In comparison, I feel like I've accomplished nothing. I take that back. I am very good at sudoku, something I would never have accomplished without attending graduate school. In other words,  hello Wayne State! Yet I am unable to pinpoint what I would do if I wasn't an aspiring political scientist. I was a very good waitress at Sonic. Unfortunately, I am too old to do that now (there is nothing sadder than a carhop over 20, and you can quote me on that).

On another note, tonight should be fun. Dan and I are going to Cassie's for dinner. Kate and Michael are also attending. I'm really looking forward to it. My friend's dad's band is playing at the Firefly Club tonight and I will attempt to convince everyone to join me in attending tonight. 

Nobody's Perfect

I am in the reading room in the Union. Across from me sits an uptight girl who has a conniption every time anyone makes a noise. What really strikes me as bizarre is that she appears to be listening to her iPod. How can she hear these low-volume sounds?  I swear, the expressions she makes and the speed at which she snaps her head to see what could be the matter are far more distracting than the sounds of a chair screeching or my munching on some nutritious celery. 

But beyond that, life is grand. This past weekend Dan and I travelled to Bowling Green to spend time with my parents. Mel was there and she brought her two friends! We spent every waking moment eating salsa and chips and drinking. It was grand. The only low point of this weekend is listening to my parents and their über-conservative friends discuss politics. I did not say much until I was pushed to the breaking point with regards to state formation. I immediately regretted saying anything, but Dan said that he loved it when "I put him [my parents' friend] in his place." I used to voice my political views loudly and constantly but I've since tried to keep them silent. Not only have I been largely been successful, but I would argue that I've been much more pleasant as well. I suppose it was the copious amount of wine I drank or the length of the conversation that broke me. I wonder if I had been a man would I worry so much about speaking my mind? Or should everyone avoid discussing politics, full stop?

In my spare time, I finally read a non-school related book, A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah. Perhaps you saw it on sale at your local Starbucks? Yes, well, if you enjoy reading about death over coffee than by all means, pick it up and read it while you sip your latte! I had nightmares. 

Speaking of nightmares, my stress has reached record levels. I must return to the tasks at hand.

Slight Qualification

I have to make a correction: I have some friends who are opera singers and they are by no means pretentious or assholes. I was merely projecting as that is what I feel like whenever my iTunes shuffle lands on opera. 

Opera is for Lovers

...or pretentious assholes. 

Am listening to Maria Callas and I feel so peaceful. And fake. 

Two entries in a row! So what's the occasion? Dan was able to open the garage door! Yea Dan! I am now at the Union, working on a spreadsheet, naturally. Dan and I are going out to dinner tonight at Ruth Chris. I am so terribly excited! 

Another piece of good news: I was so sore this morning that I literally could. not. run. Not at all. My body just refused. Finally, a good excuse for not working out! My trainer is killing me. I love it.

In other news, The Love Guru was absolutely eviscerated by the New York Times. Surprised? Not really. Honestly, this is the best part of the whole review: "No, the Love Guru is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again." 

SNAP! A. O. Scott (son of Joan Scott, for all of you who are interested in cultural history as an academic discipline) pulls no punches. And nor will I today (terrible segue). Back to work for me. 

Don't Call It A Comeback

I'm back. 

Here is my explanation for my blogging hiatus: I have a dull, yet happy, life. Really, what could I write? "Today I went to the office, worked until 11:30, then I ate lunch because I am very midwestern in that way, and then I went home at 6:30. Dan made dinner. I drank too much. We watched Olbermann. I played sudoku. I woke up the next morning and did the EXACT SAME THING!."

So you must forgive me for not updating. The funny thing is that I like my routine. 

Alas, my life has changed slightly due to a stubbornly broken garage door. My car is stuck in the garage and I am stranded in the 'burbs. Hence this blog post from Borders (located next door--how convenient!).

I've also began working out with a personal trainer. I know. I'm slightly embarrassed about this. The problem is that I cannot lose weight and I needed someone to kick my ass. So there. I did it. I feel very selfish. And sore. 

Speaking of selfish, David leaves today for Toronto and then he deserts us for Australia. He'll be back in August. 

Final note of interest: my advisor informed me that my quantitative section of my dissertation must be finished before I leave for France. Crap, crap, crap. Managing my undergrad data coders and filling in Excel sheets are the activities that keep me occupied until 6:30. 

So leave a comment. Let me know you care. 

Cupcakes

Dan and I have been engaged in a massive house clean since Saturday. It was time as the place was abysmally dirty. We are jettisoning all of our worldly affairs that no longer matter. Harsh? Perhaps. Cruel? Unintentionally. How good it feels though to rid myself of so much useless crap! Dan and I are both pack rats but I think that we are changing our ways. Unfortunately, cleaning will be a week long extravaganza. 

Saturday Dan and I went to R & J's house for karaoke.  I think I've found my new love. Yes, it was MAGIC.  The best performance, in my honest opinion, was David's rendition of "Rock the Casbah." So much passion! 

Dan and I have begun buying the food for our engagement party. Today we headed over to Cake Nouveau where we ordered 90 mini cupcakes. Which flavors, you ask? That I cannot tell. You must wait until Friday to find out. 

Dunder Mifflin is Haven Hall

So this is going to be a very quick entry as I have a meeting in t-14 minutes. There are many aspects of my job that I hate. Whether it be the mundane data crunching or dealing with other people's insecurities, I am always finding a reason to wish I was somewhere else. I imagine that I am no anomaly and that most people hate their jobs (or at least aspects). I am just like the cubicle-dwelling median American! 

So here is my soon-to-be coping mechanism. What I think will make my life more bearable is pretending that I am the star of my own documentary à la The Office. So my painfully awkward meeting (and believe me, it will be both PAINFUL and AWKWARD) that I will be attending is merely COMIC GOLD! The audience cringes with me. And we will all feel better knowing that this too shall pass. 

Comptine D'Un Autre Été

I am writing from my kitchen table in Bowling Green, Kentucky. A soft breeze enters the room and I can hear birds warbling. These bird sounds are driving my cats crazy. They are pacing by the porch door, desperate to go outside. 

This trip has been enjoyable but I'm also inclined to hate April and May. I feel pasty, sluggish, and completely thrown off-kilter. 

David, Dan, and I traveled down to Bowling Green to escape graduation week. My dad grilled California burgers our first night here. He is in heaven. He loves sitting outside and talking with Dan and David. On Wednesday, they ate paella and did shot after shot of tequila and rum. I had two glasses of wine and called it a night.

I've got a lot of work to do, more than I had anticipated. The past few days have been dedicated to work for my GSRA-ship. Now I have to work on this paper that I'm co-authoring. All I want to do is work on my own stuff. I've been told that I have to finish my prospectus by May 20th. Approved and everything.

Crap.

States That Are Essentially By-Products

Bisous Cat stays! Hurrah!

Am working in my office but am feeling uninspi(red). 

It appears there will be drinks tonight at La Habana. Here is to hoping that the id obeys the superego. I doubt it. In fact, I HIGHLY doubt it. 

Best thing I've read today (and so utterly true): 

States That Are Essentially By-Products

...I can get A by doing A, but only if I do A in order to get Y... 

(An example) Musical glory or social success falls in the category of state that are essentially by-products - states that cannot be realized by actions motivated only by the desire to realize them. These are states that may come about, but not be brought about intentionally by a simple decision... Attempts to realize these desires are likely to be ineffectual and can even make matters worse. 

--Jon Elster

Mark Leibovich wrote an absolutely riveting article on Chris Matthews. It appears the more we aim for respect, the more we fall dismally short. This reminds me of the time in high school when I was obsessed with being a bad-ass. Nathan had unceremoniously excluded me from his top ten bad-asses at Castle High School. According to Nathan, my efforts to join this storied list made me even less of a bad-ass. Just as Chris Matthews will forever be on the Washington B-List, thanks to his insatiable desire to be on the A-List. Frustrating, I know.

What's Wrong With You?

Ugh, I feel horrible. Bisous Cat and Dan got in a dispute last night and we might have to get rid of her. She is sulking on the windowsill behind the couch. She is making strange noises and I think she may be ill. I am thinking of taking her to the vet. Does anyone who knows anything about cats know if these are signs of sickness? Why do the two best things in my life not get along? In other news, I am done with Midwest and feeling more and more human every day.

All I Need

What a deliciously weird and wonderful day! Part of its charm is its inauspicious start; I could have sworn that today was going to be awful. I got up at 6 to go to the gym, which was a real struggle considering it was raining and cold. At the gym, I had slim pickings with regard to television. See, I go to this gym just for the TV monitor in the treadmill. Yes, I can watch any show I please as I run. The problem is that there really isn't anything on at 6 am, unless your tastes gravitate toward Saved By The Bell or Vh1 playing Sarah Boreallis's (sp?) song on loop (God I hate that song). Anyway, I decided to watch The Today Show. By the time my run was over, I was thoroughly depressed. The topics? Rising airline costs, floods in the midwest, the anniversary of Iraq, the biological predisposition in humans to cheat on their significant others, and the high probability of having Alzheimer's. Now I know why I read so much celebrity gossip. When I'm done I feel smug or satisfied. 

Anyway, this sort of television viewing actually sparked a super interesting conversation with Dan. And then we flipped through my J.Crew catalog, where I found the perfect bridesmaid dress. In my excitement, I showed them to A., who kindly pointed out that the $385 price tag may be a little high. But not to fear dear readers, we found a suitable alternative!

This is actually a four season suit from J.Crew. Now picture this on my bridesmaids and this on my maid of honor: 

Wouldn't this look great? Plus, these dresses are so practical; my special ladies can wear them long after the ceremony.  Your thoughts?

I showed these to Dan and he loved them. We really got into the wedding planning mood, which had never really struck us. Somehow googling information about Guanajuato was just what we needed. 

Beautiful. 

In other good news, I may have a research opportunity. This professor told me that two of my advisors had said "great things about me." Plus, someone I really admire wants me to read his paper! I am so flattered. 

Good news all around. Now if I could just pretend the world around me isn't crumbling...

Good Morning

So it's Thursday morning and I am sitting all by myself in the East Lounge in Rackham Graduate School. I am trying to revise the ethnicity list for the new version of the Comparative Prelim, but I am finding it difficult, nay, impossible to concentrate. A friend of mine in college (I suppose we were friends... definitely on friendly terms, hung out a couple of times) died. He was badly burned in a fire in Seoul and his family was raising money for his medical bills. I contributed and was looking periodically at the facebook page reporting his status. Last night, while working in the Ford School, I checked it and to my utter surprise, he passed away. I never entertained the notion that he wasn't going to make it. His sister uploaded a journal entry he had written. It was much more profound than anything I've jotted down in my moleskin notebook (or on this blog, which goes without saying). He was utterly alive and aware that he was living. I am often torn between the concepts of living for the day and living for the future. Too much emphasis on the here-and-now can, on the individual level, lead to disaster for the future, and on the aggregate level, a hedonistic culture. Yet continually planning for that day that will never come robs life of all of its spontaneity, and, inevitably, some of its beauty. In his journal entries, it seems that he had a perspective on the world that I sorely lack. He knew he was part of a bigger thing. He saw the failings of society, but he didn't linger in his pessimism or freeze in the futility of individual action, something I do. I am saddened that the world lost such a reflective and intelligent individual. 

It's All Right

I'm back in Ann Arbor and Reality has just sucker punched me. I have SO much to do. The good news is that I'm on track with my raw food diet. I actually feel really good, especially after a week of gluttony. In other news, the girls were really happy to see me! Both of them have been jumping onto my lap and rubbing up against my legs. In some ways, it's good to be back.

100% Committed

I'm going to announce it here...I am going to eat only raw foods for the month of March.*  Dan is taking the under. I will update this blog with my progress.

*I am not counting my birthday or Easter.

Baseball Bores Me

I'm in the house while Dan, Jon, and David go and enjoy a spring training baseball game. YAWN. I've been working half-assedly (is that even a word?) on my revamped prospectus. This bad-boy needs to be done by Sunday, lest I incur the wrath of the department chair. Anyway, I feel oddly inspired to work today. I was going through an email folder I made when I was really into organizing my emails and I realized that I did have some good moments in this program. By good moments, I mean times when it seemed like I was going places professionally. Those good moments have since dried up, but at least I know I once had it in me and I may have it again. We went to the Grand Canyon. It was beautiful, but it just confirmed what I've always known: I hate being in the great outdoors. I spent our last day in the lodge working, which, for me, is preferable to hiking the rim. Thanks but no thanks. I've been reading Andrea's blog and I'm thinking of trying the raw foods diet, er, lifestyle. Lately we've been subsisting on trail mix, In-N-Out burger, and Mexican food. I do not feel well. The idea of fresh foods is so appealing right now. The problem is that Dan and I live to eat and I cannot see him being happy about this change. Moreover, what would I say to Dan's parents when I go to eat at their house tonight? Or when we go to a prof's house for dinner and I munch on a plate of lettuce? It seems rude. Any advice? I am going on a run now. It is exhilarating to be running outside. Needless to say, I do not want to go back to Michigan.

How Will Hillary Run A Country If She Cannot Even Run A Successful Campaign?

It's spring break and I've been enjoying the warm Arizona sun. We had a hellish trip over here, which began inauspiciously enough with me being involuntarily bumped from my flight. This essentially grounded Dan, Jon, and David. Instead, we spent the afternoon eating at Benihana in Dearborn and trolling the mall. We then caught a flight to Las Vegas at 9:00 pm, which included us running across the tarmac in Las Vegas. In Phoenix we've spent most of our time eating and shopping. The highlight, for me, was hitting the craziness that is Last Chance in Phoenix. Speaking of Last Chance, yours truly found a pair of Chloe heels! YAY! Sure, they look a little worn. But they perfectly constructed and were an absolute steal in terms of price. When I was in Paris, I would stop by the Chloe boutique and just stare at the merchandise with awe. These are similar to the shoes I bought, except mine are a dark brown and do not have the buckle. I can't wait to wear them out! Today the four of us piled into the Jeep and headed to Prescott, Arizona. We stopped at Montezuma's Castle and Sedona. Sedona reminded me of a Barbara Kingsolver novel mashed up with the wackiest parts of Bloomington with a dash of Boulder for good measure. Every other store hawked crystals and David wondered if every resident was a would-be novelist. Unfortunately, throughout the day I felt dizzy and had a headache. In the car, I fell asleep and I didn't even realize it. Do you know what I mean? I woke up and I had no idea that I had fallen asleep! Earlier this morning, I ran eight miles and I hadn't drank much water all day. When we got to our hotel in Prescott, I collapsed on the bed. Dan brought me bottle upon bottle of water. In the span of 3 minutes, I drank 60 ounces of water. I've been drinking water all night. Now I'm going to watch the re-broadcast of the debate. Go Obama!

Accentuate the Positive

I am trying my hardest to be positive today but it is not working. I even cranked "It's A Beautiful Day" on my way to school. For a moment I was feeling it. Now I just feel like I'm this weird girl who is uber-competitive and completely unlikable. Oh, and I feel stupid as well. Not one of my brightest moments. Anyway, I really want to get my groove back. What does that mean? It means ACCENTUATING THE POSITIVE. Yes, EVERYTHING is GREAT! Smile...with GUMS! I'm serious.

Inspired

A whole month has passed since my last entry. Things are good here; nothing really to report. I do have some FANTASTIC news: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/31/fashion/shows/31UPTIGHT.html?8dpc Your welcome. Classic is back! I'm SOOOOO excited. I love structured. I am going to a thrift store ASAP and buying a floral circle skirt and a beige shift. I'm officially back in training for my marathon. I was sick for a week and felt like I fell behind. Now I'm eating clean, which means I do not consume any simple carbohydrates, alcohol, or food from a package, and I've now incorporated lifting into my training. I feel great! Of course, I'm only in the first week of my clean eating. I haven't brought myself to throw away the package of Snickers in my filing cabinet. Talk to me in a week.